Should you still surprise your partner with their engagement ring when you've designed it together?

A proposal moment with a ring handmade by Harlequin Jewellers in Canberra

It used to be the case that all engagement rings were bought as a complete surprise, and presented to a completely unsuspecting recipient. These days, relationships are far more varied, and each couple’s journey is very different.

Some couples still have one partner buy a surprise ring.

Some couples design their ring together.

Some couples design a ring each for eachother, with eachother.

Most of the time, marriage - and the engagement ring - has been talked about in some way beforehand.

So, it begs the question: Should you still surprise your partner with their engagement ring when you know it’s coming?

My answer is yes.

Even for couples that have come into my studio and designed their engagement ring (or two) together, I still find ways to make sure they can have their designed-together-ring and their surprise too.

Why?

It’s not to perpetuate the Hallmark moment we’ve been fed for decades. Real life is far more beautiful than any movie-scene fantasy we’ve seen on our screens.

Rather, it’s because the moment you put that ring on your finger, is the moment that begins a new chapter for you and your partner. Even if it’s a chapter you’ve both talked about, and know about, and have in many ways agreed to beforehand, it marks a change.

A change in your story. A change in your lives. A change in the journey you’re on together.

It’s a hugely personal moment. So as your jeweller, I always give you the option of making that moment one you’ll remember in your own truly personal way, rather than in a jewellery studio’s walls. Looking back, you’ll want to remember the day you gave your partner that meaningful ring.

So even if you’re designing it together, I encourage you to create your personal moment, and surprise your partner with the ring.